Verstile News

QOUTES-1 November 29, 2007

The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bed-Book of Happiness, by Harold Begbie
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RICHTER
[Sidenote: _Carlyle_]

We have heard that he was a man universally loved, as well as honoured
… a friendly, true, and high-minded man; copious in speech, which was
full of grave, genuine humour; contented with simple people and simple
pleasures; and himself of the simplest habits and wishes.
BROKEN STUDIES
[Sidenote: _Richter_]

I deny myself my evening meal in my eagerness to work; but the
interruptions by my children I cannot deny myself.
THE GREAT CONDE
[Sidenote: _Percy Anecdotes_]

The Great Conde passing through the city of Sens, which belonged to
Burgundy, and of which he was the governor, took great pleasure in
disconcerting the different companies who came to compliment him. The
Abbe Boileau, brother of the poet, was commissioned to make a speech to
the Prince at the head of the chapter. Conde wishing to disconcert the
orator, advanced his head and large nose towards the Abbe, as if with
the intention of hearing him more distinctly, but in reality to make him
blunder if possible. The Abbe, who perceived his design, pretended to be
greatly embarrassed, and thus began his speech: “My lord, your highness
ought not to be surprised to see me tremble, when I appear before you at
the head of a company of ecclesiastics; were I at the head of an army of
thirty thousand men, I should tremble much more.” The Prince was so
charmed with this sally that he embraced the orator without suffering
him to proceed. He asked his name; and when he found that he was brother
to M. Despreaux, he redoubled his attentions, and invited him to dinner.

The Prince on another occasion thought himself offended by the Abbe de
Voisenon; Voisenon, hearing of this, went to Court to exculpate himself.
As soon as the Prince saw him he turned away from him. “Thank God!” said
Voisenon, “I have been misinformed, sir; your highness does not treat me
as if I were an enemy.” “How do you see that, M. Abbe?” said his
highness coldly over his shoulder. “Because, sir,” answered the Abbe,
“your highness never turns your back upon an enemy.” “My dear Abbe,”
exclaimed the Prince and Field-Marshal, turning round and taking him by
the hand, “it is quite impossible for any man to be angry with you.”
A CLASSICAL ASS
[Sidenote: _Percy Anecdotes_]

The ass, though the dullest of all unlaughing animals, is reported to
have once accomplished a great feat in the way of exciting laughter.
Marcus Crassus, the grandfather of the hero of that name, who fell in
the Parthian War, was a person of such immovable gravity of countenance
that, in the whole course of his life, he was never known to laugh but
once, and hence was surnamed Agelastus. Not all that the wittiest men of
his time could say, nor aught that comedy or farce could produce on the
stage, was ever known to call up more than a smile on his iron-bound
countenance. Happening one day, however, to stray into the fields, he
espied an ass browsing on thistles; and in this there appears to have
been something so eminently ridiculous in those days that the man who
never laughed before could not help laughing at it outright. It was but
the burst of a moment; Agelastus immediately recovered himself, and
never laughed again.
MEMORY
[Sidenote: _Percy Anecdotes_]

A player being reproached by Rich for having forgot some of the words in
“The Beggar’s Opera,” on the fifty-third night of its performance, cried
out, “What! do you think one can remember a thing for ever?”
“COME IN HERE”
[Sidenote: _Percy Anecdotes_]

Burton, in his “Melancholy,” quoting from Poggius, the Florentine, tells
us of a physician in Milan who kept a house for the reception of
lunatics, and, by way of cure, used to make his patients stand for a
length of time in a pit of water, some up to the knees, some to the
girdle, and others as high as the chin, _pro modo insaniae_, according as
they were more or less affected. An inmate of this establishment, who
happened, “by chance,” to be pretty well recovered, was standing at the
door of the house, and, seeing a gallant cavalier ride past with a hawk
on his fist, and his spaniels after him, he must needs ask what all
these preparations meant. The cavalier answered, “To kill game.” “What
may the game be worth which you kill in the course of a year?” rejoined
the patient. “About five or ten crowns.” “And what may your horse, dogs,
and hawks stand you in?” “Four hundred crowns more.” On hearing this,
the patient with great earnestness of manner, bade the cavalier
instantly begone, as he valued his life and welfare; “For,” said he, “if
our master come and find you here, he will put you into his pit up to
the very chin.”
A POPE INNOCENT
[Sidenote: _Percy Anecdotes_]

When King James I. visited Sir Thomas Pope, knt., in Oxfordshire, his
lady had lately brought him a daughter, and the babe was presented to
the King with a paper of verses in her hand; “Which,” quoth Fuller, “as
they pleased the King, I hope they will please the reader.”

  See, this little mistress here,
  Did never sit in Peter’s chair,
  Or a triple crown did wear,
        And yet she is a Pope.

  No benefice she ever sold,
  Nor did dispense with sins for gold,
  She hardly is a se’nnight old,
        And yet she is a Pope.

  No king her feet did ever kiss,
  Or had from her worse look than this;
  Nor did she ever hope
  To saint one with a rope,
        And yet she is a Pope.

  A female Pope you’ll say, a second Joan!
  No, sure she is Pope _Innocent_, or none!
A GOOD PARAPHRASE
[Sidenote: _Percy Anecdotes_]

On the eve of a battle an officer came to ask permission of the Marechal
de Toiras to go and see his father, who was on his death-bed. “Go,” said
the general, “you honour your father and your mother, that your days may
be long in the land.”